Messy Mourning
Why I wrote a book for mothers grieving the loss of a child by suicide
I wrote Messy Mourning because after losing my son Sebastian to suicide, I found myself walking through a kind of grief that felt isolating, complicated, and often misunderstood. I was a mother grieving the loss of her child, but I was also a Christian trying to reconcile deep sorrow, unanswered questions, guilt, anger, and faith. In those early days, I longed for space not to rush my healing, minimize my pain, or offer easy answers. I wanted someone to sit with me in my messy mourning and gently remind me that God was still near.
This book grew out of that longing. I wanted to write what I wish I had been handed after Sebastian died: honest words from another mother who understood the shock, shame, questions, stigma, and aching love that follow suicide loss. I wanted grieving mothers to know they are not alone, that their child is more than the way they died, and that mourning does not have to be neat or predictable to be held by God.
I also wrote this book for the people who surround grieving mothers—families, friends, pastors, churches, counselors, and support communities—because many want to help but do not know what to say or do. My hope is that Messy Mourning gives them language, compassion, and practical guidance so they can love grieving mothers with wisdom rather than clichés, presence rather than pressure, and tenderness rather than silence.
At its heart, Messy Mourning is a testimony of grief and hope. It does not pretend that faith removes sorrow, but it does bear witness that Jesus meets us in our sorrow. I wrote this book because I believe God can bring comfort into the darkest places, beauty into brokenness, and hope into our messy mourning—even when the grief is still real.
Messy Mourning now available on Amazon!
If my story of grief and hope speaks to you, consider joining my community. Sign up for my newsletter to receive reflections, encouragement, updates, and helpful resources that accompany Messy Mourning: Hope for Mothers Grieving the Loss of a Child by Suicide. Let’s move forward together with courage and compassion.
Thank you Donna for sharing my story ❤️